How did this got started... approximately half a year ago there was an evening dress evening (duh) at the local transgender group in Eindhoven, so I decided to buy a dress for the occasion. Then there was an pageant and I got 2nd. Then the winners all got the price because it was just one vote difference between the winner, the runner up and the runner-runner up. They wanted the picture (that was the price we all got) for an exposition earlier this year. When I was at the grand opening of that exposition, they wanted me for an interview and I said yes again.
I shopped for this outfit at the Steps store in Rotterdam where they seem to know me by now. The shop girls did a great job in helping me out and even secured the belt that was not in my size anymore in another shop. So I also told them that all this shopping was for the information day and gave them a copy of the flyer.
I also gave a copy to my neighbor, as she is actually quite intrigued by the topic.
I also told my brother and mom that though they weren't required to come over, they where welcome to do so. I guess it can still be difficult to see one's son/brother as a convincing woman convincingly doing stuff.
So it happened that my mom joined the neighbor and came over. Gosh... I can't just express myself on what kind of a feeling this gives me... from all the way where she would lock down closets and even rooms, leaving behind notes with messages like "Don't do this!!!", to sitting in the audience and just being proud of me during my interview with Cees van der Pluijm.
The interview was about what it was like being a part time girl. So I told about my early years when I dressed up as a little princess, but that was ok since every young kid does play dress up at that age, that it was gone for quite a while until I got triggered by an episode on television just as if I where some sort of sleeper agent, from nicking/borrowing to actually buying my own stuff, and all the confidence that came with that. On my dealings with relationships (still hesitant about that, but would tell her right away if I felt it was serious and she could handle it). On the question where it was asked whether I would contemplate on going full time I answered no. I'm still doing this without permanent changes (laser, hormones) and I am proud of it that I can pull this of in this manner. Actually undergoing such permanent changes would scare me to death.
The 20 minutes where over before I knew it and got praise by much everyone for my story. After saying goodbye to my mom and neighbor (they where going home again) I talked with some more people on just about everything.
After the wrap up of the stage interview sessions (I was not the only one) everything was moved to the nearby St.Caecilia's church for the panel discussion being led by Catherine Keyl. I shook hands with her and she asked whether I would like to elaborate on that "part time woman" thing later on. I said yes, but prayed I would be left off the hook for that :)
The discussion was a good one, though being biased towards ts issues which was not a big surprise given the composition of the panel (renowned psychologists instead of non ts transgender people, on which the focus on this information day should have been )
I was kept off the hook, but when it wrapped up we all got flowers which was quite cool!
I dropped Tessa (she took the picture of me you see in this blog) off at the railway station, and drove home to a) put the flowers in a vase b) to release my aching feet from their high heeled prisons on which followed c) get something to eat. After that I slipped into something more casual and returned to the venue and had a very pleasant evening catching up with old acquaintances and talking with new ones.
In all, this was a very good day and a total new experience!
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