Harrasment

After reading A harassment story I remembered I had similar stories to tell. Strangely enough I didn't write about them. Maybe I was too upset at that time and forgot about writing about it afterwards. A bit of a shame because it is something that needs to be told too.

The "do you want to have children with me"

Actually I blogged about that one in Steps special dresses night. I wasn't scared, but flabbergasted that the guy did not comprehend my origin altogether. Still, one shouldn't approach women on street like that.

The "How are you"

Had multiple encounters of those in all those years. You're on a escalator or passing by somewhere, and totally out of the blue is there that guy that suddenly stands next to how and whispers "How are you, you're beautiful". First time was in a department store. I felt rather angry than threatened and stepped up one step. I go in totally-ignore-i-am-not-here mode when that happens and they droop off after a while.

The stalker

That was a big and nasty one. Actually felt threatened during that encounter.

I was shopping useful stuff in a electronics department store (printer cartridges duh) when I noticed that some other guy in another queue was noticing me. He looked a bit latin/middle eastern, and he got really startled after seeing me when I was standing in my own queue for the counter.

After paying he caught up with me and whispered to get my attention. the "usual" stuff like hey, how are you etc. Was not the first time something like that happens and I tend to go into full ignore mode as I feel non verbal communication is the best in those cases. Do. Not. Fuel. The. Conversation.

But the guy is still on me. So I decide to enter an extremely busy drugstore and try to shake him off in the maze of aisles and people. Still I hear him trying to get attention from the other aisle. This was getting nuts and I started to get worries now.

Next plan was to take shelter into the "exclusive" domain of females, a woman only fashion store (in where I happen to know the staff too). For sure a man alone wouldn't follow me there. So I was browsing there stuff for a couple of minutes, thought it was over and there he was right in front of me. I got really scared by now: vision narrowed, tremor in my voice etc I was telling this guy that he was already creeping up over me for over three stores, that I did not appreciate that at all, and that he should really go away now. And he just kept uttering stuff like "but how are you?" "do you want to go for a drink?" Eventually he drooped off.

Afterwards I talked with the sales staff about the incident. They said to me that if such things happen they can get security over there in 3 seconds. The most scary part was that none of them had actually seen the incident, staff didn't noticed that guy harassing one of their customers...

Unsolicited help

I left a department store and had to adjust my pump, damn impractical shoes, when a central asian looking man popped up and asked how things where going, whether I needed any help. I replied I was just doing fine and decided it was best that I immediately should start walking again. Of course the guy immediatly  start walking up with me, they all do initially, and asked the usual stuff again while I go in full ignore mode.

After shaking him off an elderly woman quickly approached me and started to blurt out that she had all seen happening, that those pesky men have no decency these days, approaching a beautiful girl like me in such a rude manner. I really loved and appreciated what she said to me, I could feel she was really angry about what happened to me. It really made my day. I thanked her and we parted ways :)

Should I worry now ?

I don't know. what I do know after all this time of dressing up and venturing out that there is a huge amount of misogyny in the world. In where it seems it is taken for granted that women are objectified by certain members of the male species, and that most people seem to have the "she's asking for it" attitude. Just because she likes to wear pretty clothes. A good example of that attitude you can find in Rosea Posey's Judgements

For me personally, given my male origin, it raises the question on how I should address females, is it really done like that? I for sure hope not. It does raise the bar for starting a conversation out of the blue, but that might also be my introvert nature holding me back. In girl mode, it kinds of enables me to open a bit up with regards to that.

For personal safety, I think it is best to keep your calm and ignore it when such things happen. Keep moving and do your business and don't get cornered. Stay in the crowd or enter a bar/shop in where staff can help you. And when you're cornered, don't go into discussion but be assertive to him about the situation as it discomforts you and (repetitively) insist on him to leave.

If you have better tips or similar stories to share, post them in the comments. We can learn from each other..

*EDIT*
Useful tips can be found at http://bust.com/feminism/12319-your-summer-guide-to-annihilating-street-harassers.html